Recipe for Escaping an Argument

Ingredients

• 1 dramatic sigh (Oscar-worthy)
• 2 fake nods (“Totally, absolutely, mmhmm.”)
• A sprinkle of humour
• 1 emergency distraction (cat video, sudden craving for snacks — use only in emergencies)
• Optional garnish: You suddenly remembered that you had homework.

Instructions

1. Preheat the brain:
Get your brain ready for the next few minutes of heat.

2. Add sighs and nods:
Say, “You’re right.” Then add, “I have no clue about it.”
(Don’t give it away.)

3. Sprinkle humour generously:
Not too much, though. You don’t want to make things worse.

4. Stir in distraction:
Try saying, with a shocked expression, “Wait, did you hear that noise?”
Works surprisingly well.

5. Let simmer in silence:
This may reduce the tension. No guarantees, though.

Serving Suggestion

Pairs best with ice cream or pizza, because honestly, that is the best side for this dish.

Added Tips

Put on an “understanding” face to make the argument end quicker. Use nods, sighs, and anything else convincing enough to make it look like you are completely paying attention.

For more completely useless but highly functional recipes, stay tuned for tomorrow!

Written By: Paivi Govil, 12 years old 

// This piece was penned by the child during the weekly creative writing class on creative formats in food writing //